It never ceases to amaze me how accomplished adults get trapped by preconceived notions that have yet to prove themselves.
Why do I maintain that said notions have yet to prove themselves? Reality speaks for itself.
In Western society, parents exert themselves endlessly to supply their child’s every need and build loving relationships infused with theories to attain that goal. Yet ironically, children are far less cooperative, content, and well-adjusted in this society.
For example, the mantra that a child will be happy and well-adjusted on the condition that he receives a certain number of hugs, kisses, and declarations of love from parents daily.
How does this mantra trap parents? Because there’s no way out. Will they ever know if it’s enough? Can they be certain that they’re not overdoing it?
Essentially, there’s no way to gauge how many hugs and kisses are needed to fill the ‘quota,’ leaving them with the nagging doubt that they’re failing to fit the bill. That’s when guilt kicks in, big time! And where guilt resides, there’s no room for confidence; it’s either one or the other.
Here’s the good news. There’s a way out of the trap. Don’t buy into the mantras that have you constantly second-guessing yourself. You don’t need anyone to instruct you to love your children. You love them naturally and intrinsically. You know it, and they know it.
Hug and kiss your children and tell them you love them as much as you want. But do it naturally, when and how much you see fit. Do it because it’s what you feel and not because of preconceived notions.
Release yourself from the trap. You deserve better.
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