To say or to step away

Communicating is essential, but it’s become overrated.    

The word out is that communicating is crucial to developing relationships.  So, we talk, express ourselves, and make sure not to leave things unsaid lest it’s unclear where we’re at.  It’s assumed that the number of words we deliver will determine the nature of the relationship.    

With our children, we explain, expound, and remind.  And just to be sure they got it right, we repeat it again and again…  

Dear parents, give yourself a break.  The odds are that if you don’t, no one else will…Heaven knows you deserve it!  

For example, your kids are fighting, and you’re drawn to referee, pass judgment, and fill the role of UN peacekeeping forces.  Naturally, you clarify, “In our house, we don’t hit, we ask nicely, etc.” If you’ve said it once, you’ve said it a thousand times.  They know.  So, before you get sucked into another cycle that leaves you drained and at a loss, press ‘pause.’  Step away.   

Stepping away isn’t neglecting or a lack of communication.  It’s simply avoiding another exercise in futility.  That’s empowering to you as a parent because you’re not being ‘activated’ by your children, and it’s empowering for your kids because they will learn to work out situations that aren’t always to their liking.  No doubt, life has a lot of that in store for them.  Preparing our children for the future is the real thing, and it’s not based on how much we talk but rather on how much we rely on them.  They know when we trust and rely on them, even if we don’t say a single word about it. 

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