A mom consulted with me recently.
Her problem: Mornings are a nightmare. with her 7-year-old…
Every day is a new challenge with her 7-year old, or as the mother aptly and sadly described-a new battle.
To ‘win’ the battle, mom had used every ‘ammunition’ at her disposal…cajoling, lecturing, punishment, anger, bribes…with no results. Even when she somehow was finally able to get the kid on the bus to school, the same scenario repeated the next day.
When I asked the mom what percentage of the energy spent on morning preps is directed at this issue, she replied without blinking: 150%!! The math may need to be more precise, but it said it all for her.
When we combined the data that she provided we concluded:
1. She’s tried everything but has yet to succeed.
2. She’s expending a massive amount of energy with no results.
I asked her, “If you had an appliance that’s not working, would you continue to press the ‘on’ button?” Her reply was, of course, “No way, why should I? I’m not getting any results…”
My suggestion: You’re not getting results, and it’s obvious that you can’t change your child’s behavior (or anyone’s behavior, for that matter), focus on yourself, save all that wasted energy.
We figured out where she could become ‘energy efficient’ in this scenario, which simply entailed discontinuing her (futile) efforts. This took her out of the loop, and change was not long in coming.
Sometimes, all you need is to step out of the loop.
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