A mom recently consulted for my help to work out a certain issue with one of her children.
She was expending a tremendous amount of energy around this issue; and (not surprisingly), with no results!
She was drained, frustrated and at a loss.
While discussing the matter, I casually mentioned, “So if you solve this issue, you’ll have time to focus your attention on the other children…” I said this, not because it’s what I expect her to do, rather because it’s commonly perceived as the way to go and I was curious to hear her reaction.
She guiltily confided in me that all she wanted was some peace and quiet to have a relaxing cup of coffee. Tall order for a mom, huh? How dare she??
Well, I don’t think so. If there’s anyone entitled to ‘me time’, it’s moms!
Here’s the thing.
Moms don’t have to focus on their kids. They’re with them in their heart and mind 24/7.
The parents’ job is to raise their kids. That naturally entails teaching, guiding and nurturing; parents do that instinctively. Whereas, focusing on ‘giving attention’ is unnatural and constrained. Since when is ‘focusing attention’ an inseparable part of parenting??
The pressure to ‘focus’ is what causes the confusion that afflicts parents today. Either they’re focusing too much (wasted energy) or not enough (guilt). Whatever the case, it doesn’t contribute to confident parenting in any way.
Confident parenting is natural parenting, with no terms and no conditions.
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