One of the significant challenges parents face is that their role as leaders has become undermined. When it’s unclear who is ‘calling the shots,’ anarchy prevails. The results – frustrated parents and confused children. Or confused parents and frustrated children…
Sometimes, life takes a sharp turn, and the norm changes.
Here in Israel, it happened on October 7.
We are at war. Fathers, sons, and brothers have been called up, and parenting has never been so challenging for mothers holding down the fort at home. Yet these circumstances, as difficult as they may seem, are, in effect, a game-changer, with everyone gliding into position naturally. The children, bewildered and scared, are now looking to Mom for guidance. She is the leader – the responsible adult in charge.
Needless to say, it’s a handful and, at times, overwhelming. But dear Mom – You’re up to the task. Having fears and anxieties is justified, but you can do it!
If you feel stressed out or even have a meltdown, it’s normal. It doesn’t make you less of a leader. It just means that you’re human. So don’t be hard on yourself. It’s OK. Everyone’s on an emotional roller coaster. Parents shouldn’t rate themselves ever, certainly not in this situation!
And if your kids have a meltdown, it doesn’t mean they are scarred for life. It just means they’re also normal. Everyone has their share of ‘ups and downs’. But even children, as vulnerable as they seem, have hidden strengths. Believe it, and rely on it.
What can help is the constant awareness that you can’t control what is happening, and as ever, you can’t control how your children react or behave. So let it go. It will make things easier for you, and empower your children. Win-win.
Bravery comes in many forms. You are a hero! Your kids are heroes!
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