The family constellation has a set order. Set by nature, set by G-d.
The parents are the leaders.
Not because they’re smarter. Kids can be more educated than their parents.
Not because they’re wealthier. Kids can be more well-off than their parents.
Not because they’re more talented. Kids can be more skillful than their parents.
Not because they’re more accomplished. Kids can be more capable than their parents.
They lead simply because they are the parents, and it’s unconditional. They were ordained with the role from the moment the child makes his debut in the world (thanks to them BTW).
Judging, blaming and criticizing parents means looking down at them. Leaders aren’t looked down upon, rather looked up to.
Looking up to our parents is how we keep the set order from being disrupted; and that’s how we maintain stability that brings serenity and peace of mind to all parties involved.
Follow the leader and see how you become the leader for your children. It’s win-win.
As a parenting counselor, I’ve seen time and again how this affects more than one generation. Time and again I see that many of the ‘problems’ that parents raise re their children have a trail that leads to a negative attitude towards their parents and the home they grew up in.
Amazingly (or perhaps it’s not that amazing, just natural) when they let go of that negative mindset, many problems are solved, leading to a blessed change in the relationship with their children.
Try it at home!
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