‘Relationships’ are all the craze.
Parents are in a constant quest for the ideal relationship with their children.
I have no doubt that whoever would come up with the formula for the ideal relationship would surely pocket a Nobel prize…probably the Nobel peace prize… Because a good relationship with our children is peace, mainly peace of mind. There are very few things that get parents unsettled like issues with our children.
If you’re expecting me to proclaim that I’ve come up with the formula, sorry to disappoint you. But I have something else to offer you that can do the trick. It’s a code regarding another relationship. One that ultimately affects the relationship that you have with your children.
I won’t keep you guessing.
Every once in a while, I touch upon the concept of how we relate to our parents.
Notice the word relates. How we relate is what ultimately builds relationships.
We don’t have to figure out the code to that relationship. It’s been around for thousands of years and stated clearly and precisely: ‘Honor thy father and thy mother…’.
Honoring is how we relate to them.
- If we relate to them from a superior stance, that’s not honoring.
- If we relate to them judgmentally, that’s not honoring.
- If we relate to them critically, that’s not honoring.
In short, judging, criticizing or feeling superiority won’t contribute to creating a healthy relationship.
Whereas, not acting superior, judging or criticizing opens hearts and builds strong lifelong relationships.
It may seem that they are getting the ‘better end of the deal’ by being held in high esteem (which BTW they deserve simply for giving us life), but actually, it’s the children who benefit tremendously from a relationship based on respect and honor, at every age and every stage of life.
For us as parents, honoring our parents strengthens our stance vis a vis our own children. The awareness that parents should be held in high esteem gives us confidence, eliminates guilt and self-doubt and is the basis for a healthy relationship where the parent is the leader in the family.
That’s the relationship you want with your children. It starts with looking up at our parents. Rest assured it will lead to your children looking up to you.
It’s only natural. It’s the way it’s meant to be. That’s the secret formula.
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